Deciding to LOVE Myself...Beginning a Low-Carb Diet

Love is the greatest of all things!

Love conquers all! 

Love makes the world go 'round! 

Love will keep us together! 

Love is a many splendored thing! 

Love is all you need! 

I love LOVE! 

But as I reflected who and what I love, I realized that there was one person who didn't get much consideration or love at all....and that person is me. 

I don't love me (which is sad, because I think I'm pretty lovable). But I will admit here friends, that I have been terribly unhappy lately. To the point where I'm wondering if I need medication or counseling or therapy, it's that profound. 

Profoundly unhappy.

Life is too short and too beautiful a gift to spend it miserable. 

I need a change.

Now, I'm not going to bore you with a long, giant explanation for why I'm experiencing despair and choosing to overhaul and revamp my life; those reasons will unfold as the days, and all I need to do to accomplish this overhaul unfolds (because overhauling a life is no small undertaking, so there will be lots to talk about)!

Just let me say that I am maybe the unhappiest I've ever been. Some of it is external, but only because of my own doing. I firmly believe that no one has the power to make you happy or unhappy...IT'S ALL ON YOU! 

But there are some external things, namely my home environment (disorganized, cluttered), for example, that is causing a good deal of unhappiness in my life. One could say that it's probably because I am disorganized and cluttered! 

Another reason for my unhappiness, the thing that I am starting off with today is my health. It's time to change my eating and activity level. Not because I want to look good, but because, as I look to the future, I don't want to feel like I do now...and right now, I feel OLD and TIRED and I HURT. 

If I feel this way at 41, how will I feel at 61? 

Sixty isn't considered "elderly" anymore! I mean, have you seen Christie Brinkley? She's 60 and looks FABULOUS! She is going to be in Sports Illustrated again...AT 60!!! My mind is blown!

Sports Illustrated 2017

I will talk more about the specifics of my health another day, but for today, let's just talk about revamping my eating with a low-carb eating plan. I have arthritis, bursitis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and even had a stroke last year (we'll talk more about that later)! Some of you may condemn a drastic change in eating, but when you've had an experience such as having a stroke, you know drastic is paramount!

I weighed 289.3 pounds this morning (I should also mention that I'm nearly 6' tall...5' 11 3/4" to be exact). 

Pics from this week...

Just a few years ago, I had gotten down to 239 on the divorce diet (don't recommend that one). 

Me at 250 lbs...much better

I jest, but going through a painful divorce cause me to lose a lot of weight...and I actually felt great! No pain, I had energy, I felt lighter, and I even wanted to exercise! I started hiking and getting outside, it was wonderful! 

But when I gained the weight back, not only did I have a stroke, but my gallbladder had to be removed (turning 40 was rough!).

My doctor recommended a low-carb diet, which I've had a lot of success with in the past. I've also read that sugar is a terrible inflammatory, which will help ease the pain of the arthritis and bursitis in my hip joints. Some days it's hard to even walk.

So, there you go...deciding to love myself, step one? Eating a low carb diet! 

THIS is what I brought to eat at work.

Boiled eggs and bacon for breakfast, coffee with cream and Splenda, pepperoni slices, diet Coke, flavored water, pork rinds for snacks, and chicken wings with blue cheese dressing for lunch (it was sooo good!). 

I know there are a lot of artificial sweeteners in my drinks, which some don't like because they are said to cause cancer. But like I said before, my situation is urgent and I have to weigh my current poor health (stroke) against whether or not a packet of Splenda may or may not cause cancer. I just can't worry about that right now. Maybe sometime down the road, because it is a legitimate concern. But right now, I have to focus on the issues at hand, and the most important thing is using what I have and getting my weight down. I know that there are other sugar substitute alternatives (I do my research people), but I will have to get those later. Right now, I have Splenda, and Splenda is what I'm using. :)

When I got home from work, I ate a cup of sugar-free jello with whipped cream (full fat!), and for dinner I had a simple salad (lettuce, tomato, dressing) because I really wasn't all that hungry. When I've done this diet in the past, that is my norm (to eat very light come dinner time). 

As an aside....it feels good to be writing again...to create and to share. I'm glad I have this little nook here on the interwebs to share with you. I hope you will comment and subscribe so we can make this journey together. :)

Salad in a Cup...Genius!

I just hate putting a salad together. Do you? When I'm hungry, I want food now! And more often than not I pass on all the gathering of ingredients, chopping, and assembling required and just skip it altogether in favor of something fast (handful of cookies).

But the other day I saw THIS VIDEO and was amazed at such a genius idea...salad in a mason jar! 

I was so happy to have found such a clever way to store ready made salads that you make one time a week. No more pulling out bags of veg and containers, etc. I can just grab it and go (kinda reminds me of those old Salad Shakers that McDonald's used to have...remember those?).

But alas, I don't have mason jars. Bummer.

However I do have those cups that go with my Magic Bullet (that's broken). I wasn't sure what to do with them and hated to throw them out and am happy to say they work perfectly!!!

So, I assembled my salad ingredients and began cutting and chopping and layering.

A the bottom of the cup you need to add your favorite salad dressing. 

Then I added a couple tablespoons of carrot, then onion, cheese, ham, cucumber and a cup of lettuce on top. I put a few tablespoons of croutons in a sandwich baggie and layered that on top of the lettuce (in a baggie so it wouldn't get soggy in the fridge). 

Aren't they pretty? Of course you can use any ingredients you want, but add your dressing and tomatoes at the bottom so that your lettuce doesn't get soggy and wilted. I'd also add my cheese close to the top. If it's down at the bottom near the dressing, it would get gummy. ICK.

Then I covered it all with a piece of plastic wrap and sealed it with the rings that came with the cups. I couldn't find all 4 rings, so I used one of the sealed caps for the last one,
and I just placed them in the fridge. I am at home all day, but I could totally see grabbing one of these in the morning before work and popping it in a lunch bag. So easy!

When you dump it out on a plate, it comes out looking like a perfect salad..lettuce on the bottom and the dressing on top. Unless you like your lettuce on top and all your fixins on the bottom, then this would be a disaster salad, not a perfect salad. (ha!)

My salad has 225 calories and 10 grams of fat (didn't use low fat dressing or cheese, but will probably do that next time).

I love this idea and know that I'll definitely be eating more salads.

Let me know if you try it!

THE BOMB, MUST TRY! My Low-Carb Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps (Linking up with "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Meme)

I am making my home sing today by taking care of this house's CEO, ME!!!! And I'm linking up with Mom's the Word's "Making Your Home Sing" Meme.

Today I'm taking care of myself and my health by doing some home cookin' that is healthy, low-calorie and low-carb! 

I have been craving Chinese food for days, but wouldn't dare step into a Chinese restaurant right now.

Carbs, carbs everywhere!

I'm on a VERY restricted carbohydrate regimen (read more here) and I'm doing GREAT (down 9 lbs in 8 days on the Induction Phase of the Atkin's Diet).

So I decided that lettuce wraps with an Asian inspired chicken filling would satisfy my craving AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! And the peanut dipping sauce I made took it to a whole 'nother level honey! 

I'm not kidding...this recipe is THE BOMB!!!! You HAVE TO try it!!!

The carb count for the ENTIRE recipe, including the peanut dipping sauce is 10-11 carbs. And the recipe makes 8-10 lettuce wraps. So each wrap is between 1- 1.5 carbs each. INCREDIBLE! I  had 4 for lunch! :)

To make the peanut dipping sauce mix together...

1 tablespoon regular peanut butter (3.5 carbs)
1 teaspoon Pampered Chef Asian Seasoning Mix
1 green onion (whites only) finely minced
1 tablespoon cilantro finely minced (don't even make this if you're not going to use cilantro...it makes the recipe!)
1 tablespoon lite soy sauce (3 carbs per tablespoon)
1 teaspoon seasoned rice vinegar (4 carbs per every 3 tablespoons)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon fresh grated ginger
1 packet of Splenda
2 tablespoons of hot water

Mix all ingredients together with a whisk. Be sure to use hot water so that it melts the peanut butter and makes the sauce smooth and creamy. If you don't have seasoned rice vinegar, use lime juice to give it a Thai kick. I was weirded out by using Splenda in a savory recipe, but I can't even taste that it's faux sweetener...it tastes like sugar to me!

Now for the chicken filling....lots of veg here!

Asian chicken filling recipe....

1 baked chicken breast seasoned with salt and pepper (I used one I had already prepared in advance)
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 green onion, thinly sliced
1 cup chopped cabbage
2 tablespoons of chopped fresh cilantro (again...don't skip this! It makes the dish!)
1 clove fresh garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 teaspoon Pampered Chef Asian Seasoning Mix
1 packet of Splenda
1 tablespoon of veg oil
salt and pepper to taste
*But, if you can spare the carbs, I recommend you use soy sauce. It is 3 grams of carbs per tablespoon, so go easy!

Add oil to a hot pan and add all prepared ingredients. Since the chicken is already cooked, you'll only need to stir fry for a few minutes until the cabbage is crisp/tender and everything is warmed through.

So sad. I used up all my Pampered Chef seasoning. :(

Next, carefully pull off ice-berg lettuce leaves, add a tablespoon or so of the chicken filling and wrap. It won't be perfect, but who cares! It will taste amazing!

These were so good, I even took a minute from stuffing my face to make a video, messy hair and all! ha! Check it out....

I really hope you try this recipe...for real. It's so good! :) Enjoy!

Protein Prescription

A number of years ago (like, 10 or so), I went to the doctor to discuss some options for weight management. I was hoping for a long sit down to discuss what my issues were, why I was so heavy (over 300 lbs at the time), a thorough examination, maybe some blood work. But the only thing he offered me was a book title. Huh?

He asked if I had ever read the book, Protein Power by Dr.s Michael and Mary Eades. I said that I had not read it, but had read about the benefits of a higher protein, lower carbohydrate diet. So, he went on to explain how eating more protein instead of carbohydrates enables your body to begin burning your own fat stores as energy instead of burning sugars as energy. I knew all this. I had even done a low-carb diet before and lost about 15 lbs in the first two weeks, but didn't stick to it. And that was it....he had spoken his peace and that was that. He wanted me on a low-carb diet.

He wrote the name of the book and the author on a prescription pad and handed it to me.

I was like, huh? A prescription for a book?

Where's my strategic, detailed diet and exercise plan?

Where's the blood work, the tests? Isn't he going to prove that this is something that I can't help?

Where's the miracle pill?

But I think he did the best thing I could have ever asked for...he wanted me to get educated! 

Wow! What would the world be like if all doctors prescribed books as required reading before they passed out pills? The drug companies would go broke and book sales would skyrocket!

Anyway, I went right out, bought the book, read most of it (a lot of the chapters are VERY technical...boring) and never followed through with a low carbohydrate diet. And although I've lost a little weight, I've hovered within 20 lbs of 300 ever since and it's taken its toll on my body.

Since then, I've had the blood work and the exams hoping this indeed wasn't MY fault. But there was nothing wrong with me...other than laziness and I like to eat too much. And the only cure for that is a change in me.

So now, 10 years late, it's taken my knees nearly giving out every day from climbing and climbing the stairs in this 3 level apartment for me to want (need) to get it together!

I've been using an app for my phone called, My Fitness Pal to count calories for me, and I've absolutely loved it! But the weight wasn't coming off fast enough. I need to lose like 50 lbs in the next couple months or I'm just not going to be able to make it ya'll! I'm in so much pain every day! I know that dropping the weight will ease the strain on my knees, so I need to lose it fast!

And what came to mind? That's right. That doctors appointment from 10 years ago. So, I'm jumping on the low-carb bandwagon. I'm not looking for a quick fix (well, I kinda am), I'm looking for a life change. And I know this will be the best thing for me. I believe sugar is killing me ya'll. So, I've got to limit myself big time, or I'm going to be a fat old woman who can't walk because her knees gave out in her 30's! Oh wait, you don't really see a lot of "fat" old people do you? That's because they don't make it. I don't want to die young if I can help it.

So, this is day 4 of my low-carb diet (following the Atkins Diet) and I've lost 6 lbs so far limiting myself to 20 carbs a day or less. That's induction for ya! You really can drop a lot of weight quickly by eating such limited carbs. But you can't eat that way forever. That's why I love the book, Atkins for Life. It gives you a detailed plan to start adding good carbohydrates like fruits, starchy vegetables, beans, legumes, and whole wheat breads and pastas back into your diet and continue to lose, or maintain your desired weight.

I know I've said MANY times on this blog that I was going to lose weight and get healthy, but this time, I'm doing it for a different reason. This time, I'm in pain ya'll....and pain will push you to make a change whether you like it or not! So yes, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be out of pain! :) ha! Maybe my doctor knew that all along! :)

I Want You to be CHUBBY!

Since moving to this new apartment with 3 floors, I have had some serious problems with my knees. After going up and down stairs a million times a day, they really hurt. Not to mention, I'm completely exhausted by 3 pm.

We're either going to have to move again soon to a single level home (really hate moving) or I'm going to have to just conquer the real reason why these stairs bother me so much.

I need to lose weight, and that's that.

So, I was talking to my daughter about my knees hurting and how carrying around a lot of weight is bad on your bones and your joints. I told her that I was going to get skinnier and I wouldn't have so many aches and pains and I would have more energy to play with her.

Well, she had a meltdown! 

She got really upset at the thoughts of having a "skinny mommy." 

It was so cute and I'm so glad I caught it on video.

Check it out....

A Day of Mindless Eating

Do you ever have those days when you just eat, and eat, and eat, and eat.....and eat some more? You really don't even think about it, you just stuff your face full of food? Sadly, I have those days more times than I'd like to admit.

Today on facebook I posted that I'd had a nice lunch of salmon, and that I had a really great apple for a snack later this evening, but as I reflected on this, I realized the picture I painted was one of health and good choices. But looks are often deceiving.

Yes, I did have salmon and apples today, but I also had a LOT of junk. I began to think, "You big faker! You need to tell the truth!" ha!

So, in an effort to "keep it real," because I HATE hypocrisy and being fake with you and myself, I decided to put it all out there...to let you see what ELSE I've eaten today.

If you read this blog, you know that eating too much is one of those nagging issues I have yet to do real work on...but I will.

Because I'm not satisfied, in Christ, with less than His very best for me, which includes taking care of myself. With His help, I know I can do anything. I know it.

But today, I didn't take care of myself, I stuffed myself.

Here's what I ate...

Morning- 
A few sips of coffee with cream and sugar
A bottle of water

Noon- 
Arby's Junior Roast Beef w/ Cheddar
Small Pepsi
large apple

Afternoon- 
A handful of potato chips
a handful of cheese crackers
2 cups of Coke
serving of broiled salmon
a spoonful of leftover au gratin potatoes
half a bottle of water

Evening-
Another handful of cheese crackers
2 more cups of Coke
bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats

Late Evening-
another handful of potato chips
Butterfinger candy bar
large apple

I know...

YUCK.

Salad and Water

ARE DIVINE!

There's nothing yummier (especially when you're in the mood for it) than a big plate of salad and a big glass of ice water to wash it down.

I've always loved salad, even as a kid, but don't eat it nearly enough. I have one of those weird memories...you know, the kind that sticks with you throughout all eternity for one reason or another? Anyway, many years ago I saw an interview with Jennifer Aniston when she was right in the thick of her "Friends" fame. She was saying that she was a creature of habit and that her routine never varies much. She said that during the filming of "Friends," she had eaten the same Cobb Salad every single day for like 5 years! She said some days she may vary it and tell them to add cucumber, or no bacon today or whatever, but yeah...the same salad everyday. She said something to the effect of, when she found something that worked for her, she usually just stuck with it. I believe she's a famous, "low or no-carb" kinda girl, so I can see why she would say a Cobb Salad works...except for the veg, there's hardly any carbs in it at all. And it's a really satisfying meal.

I don't think I could eat a Cobb Salad every day, but I do enjoy it and made one for myself tonight, minus the avocado and chicken.

Mine had iceberg lettuce, tomato, cucumber, boiled egg, crumbled bacon, salt, pepper and blue cheese dressing.

Now, I'm going to have a slice of pizza! HA!

I'm Not Waiting!

How do you feel on December 26th? Do you feel relieved? Glad it's all over? Underwhelmed? Even more stressed at the new mess? Annoyed at the loud toys? Not looking forward to putting up all the Christmas stuff? Or sad that it's all over and not looking forward to the new year?

Well, on December 26, all I feel is STUFFED! I feel like if I see one more dessert, one more slice of turkey covered in gravy, one more spoonful of green bean casserole, that I'm going to puke! I've eaten cookies and sweets for weeks now and Christmas just about did me in! I'M OVER FOOD!!!

Blech!!!

So that's why I'm not waiting for January one to start eating healthy and exercising, I'm starting NOW!

I'm actually looking forward to salads
and grilled chicken and vegetables.

...and breaking a sweat!

BRING IT ON!!!

Not sure what kind of plan that I'm going to do. But as the saying goes, "If you fail to plan you plan to fail." So, I need to come up with something. All I know is the first thing I'm doing tomorrow is sorting through all the clothes that are too big for me, bagging them up and getting rid of them; Starting with my two favorite pair of jeans that are so big, I can roll down them down twice and stick both my arms down the front! It is soooo annoying wearing them because they fall down all the time, but they're my nicest two pair.

This isn't me, but this is about what I
go through everyday in my jeans!

I have other jeans that are just a smidge too tight that I can wear uncomfortably, and losing 10 pounds or so would just do the trick I think. Then, when those get too big, I'll treat myself to a new pair! That will be fun!

Isn't it strange how we hang on to clothes that don't fit? Either ones that are too small, or too big, like we're waiting for our bodies to magically fit into them? Why do we leave them hanging in our closets? Do we enjoy depressing ourselves? They don't fit, they take up room in the closet, a lot of times they're out of style and they just do nothing for us! Isn't it time that we just let them go? What are we hoping for? To stay fat? To get fatter so they'll fit? Or to magically lose weight so they'll fit? Now, I do believe in having a goal dress or holding on to that one pair of skinny jeans you look forward to wearing again. But a whole closet full? That's just sad. And hey, I'm preaching to myself here. I have clothes that are too big (as a cushion) and too small (as a pipe dream) that I hold on to, so I'm guilty as well. But my banner for the year is going to read, "Do the uncomfortable thing!" Anything that I know is right, but feels uncomfortable, I'm going to MAKE myself do! Doing the easy thing has not served me, so it's now time to turn that around and do the hard thing. Throwing out my clothes won't be easy, but it's what I must do to move forward. And forward is the only direction I am accepting this year!

On the agenda for tomorrow then? Clean out the closet, purge some old clothes and prepare for a new start.
Sounds good to me!