Well, after a spell of severe depression over eminent foreclosure on our house, moving to a new town to an apartment, being down to one vehicle and being stuck at home everyday, lonely and sad, I decided to do something about it and start blogging again! Nothing like whining about your problems to the internet to make a girl feel good! ;)
So, I'm back baby!
Here's an update...
Our house has yet ANOTHER contract on it (#3), but this one really is set to close in 2 weeks. Only problem is, we are footing the bill for ALL the closing costs, so we are going to have to come up with $7,000 out of thin air! I may just have to go hold one of those cardboard signs out by the interstate and beg for money. Not sure how we are going to get that kind of money in 2 weeks, but I am praying (and fasting) for a miracle. At any rate, selling the house beats a final foreclosure any day, so we're still happy about it!
We are settled in our new town (Huntington, West Virginia) and doing okay. My husband's car is out of commission at the moment, so he takes mine every day to work. I will be honest and admit that I hate this arrangement. I feel trapped, lonely, bored and pretty depressed being cooped up in the house all day. My favorite thing is getting out in the car and exploring and I just haven't gotten to do that here. I've been in a funk and it's been hard to climb out of it.
I feel like a failure. And my knee hurts.
I have absolutely no life outside of this apartment (it is 3 floors and the stairs are wearing on my knees!) and it's very depressing to me. I know I should try to find the joy in being home with my daughter and serving my husband as a wife and a mom, but if I'm being honest, I have to say that makes me gag a little. I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them (and pretty much DO), but I've always been a pretty independent girl and not having something for me is making me feel unfulfilled and lost. The only fix for this is to do what I love, and that is SING! So, I'm going to be working on that BIG TIME!
Me and Jesus are still pretty tight, but I feel like I've let myself fall into a pity spiral and He feels far away. I know ultimately, HE is the answer to every desire of my heart and I'm finding my way back to Him by doing another long fast. I don't feel strongly called to do it like I did last year, but I WANT to do it to draw closer to Him and to cleanse my body....sort of like Spring cleaning for the body and the soul! I'm also hoping we find a church soon. We've visited several, but haven't found that right fit for us yet. Soon.
So, I'm back ya'll! I hope you read and comment. You can keep me company as I get acclimated to this new place. I soooo need friends right now. Thanks for being there for me! :)