Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Divorce Drama and 4 Strategies to Get YOURSELF Out of the Pits!

Today I had another court hearing over child-support, visitation, blah, blah, blah. I cant adequately describe how incredibly annoying, frustrating, and out right degrading it is to have a judge dictate to you what you are going to do with your own child, your time, your LIFE! And I truly resent having EVER been put in this situation!

Today was a 50/50 kind of day for me. child support was FINALLY set to what it should have been nearly 2 years ago, but now, I've been ordered to drive long, long hours to meet my daughter's father for his visitation. I AM NOT happy about it.

Why do I continue to have to be inconvenienced because of his choices? It's unfair. VERY unfair. And I have the kind of personality that dwells incessantly over injustice. I analyze every word, all my mistakes, the things I could have done, could have said, but forgot (even though I had three pages of detailed notes)!

And this is why lawyers are useful....but I digress.

I have cried, complained, felt hurt, felt defeated, felt wronged and unheard all day. But after a nice nap, I have a new perspective! I WON'T live and wallow in my pit when I have the power to be happy...

So here are a few tips on how I changed my mood and perspective and how you can lift your own self up (cuz honey, ain't nobody gonna do it for you, and therapy is expensive!)

#1. Trust God

I may not understand why or how or when, but HE DOES. There's no one more trustworthy than my loving Heavenly Father, and I chose long ago to trust Him, no matter what. He's never let me down. Giving Him my troubles makes me feel instantly better. But you have to actually let go of them, not take them back and then continue to dwell on them. Which leads me to....

#2. Align Your Thinking with God's Word

Maybe you have one of those personality types that hates injustice like I do. But guess what?

God hates injustice too! Isaiah 61:8 says,

"For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people and make an everlasting covenant with them."

God will repay all injustice, and He only (not earthly judges) will decide in the end. We have that to look forward to! 

See? When you know the truth, then you have something else to dwell on. Dwell on God, His goodness and His truth.

#3. Find Light IN the Tunnel--Not Just at the End

What is good in your life right now? Sure God will repay all injustices in the end and all will be made right, etc. etc...amen! But what is good in my life right now? 

I was upset today, but when I began to look at the blessings in my life now, it was hard to stay depressed. It felt silly actually to focus so much energy and thinking on just one negative thing.

I mean, I have my daughter, my health, a roof over my head, reliable transportation, I have a job, and I am planning a wedding and getting married to a wonderful, supportive man. A lot of really exciting things are happening! Why be upset over things happening far into the future? I trust Jesus' good advice.....

"...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

He says instead in verse 33 to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Again, letting go of worry and looking to God and His goodness brings peace. 

#4. Do Something Good for YOU

When someone we love is hurting, we do our best to cheer them up, right? But why wait for someone else to lift your spirits when you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself?! 

Love yourself by doing something you enjoy! I got up from my nap (one thing I enjoy!) refreshed and decided to make a recipe I had been wanting to try (a knockoff Zoe's Kitchen white bean soup recipe found here). It was delicious and comforting and hit the spot...INSTANT HAPPY! 

Then I decided to write. Writing always clears my head and helps me organize my thoughts. So, I dusted off the ol' blog and set out to slam my ex, the judge, the courts, the system, 

the man, 

the machine!!!


...you see where this was going....

But after reading back over all that mess, I decided it wasn't me, and all that negativity wasn't worth valuable "Angie Acapella" real estate. So, I decided to rinse and repeat, but this time, with positivity! 

The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

So be encouraged and encourage yourself! God has great plans for each of us and it is not worth our precious time here on earth to focus and dwell on what's wrong all the time. Let's honor Him by focusing on what's good and His good plans for us! (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Thanks so much for reading and I hope to write more soon!

1 comment:

  1. you and i have traveled the same road and i agree with you one hundred percent...without Gods strength and my belief in him id not made it that first year..i lst so much a husband a child my Aunt and my dad...losing my dad about did me in...i leaned on God and prayed for strength and here i am 3 years later stronger and more confident than i have ever been..and happy..so very happy...ive met someone i live with my wonderful Aunt thats so good to me...we came thrugh the fire you and i much stronger than before...love you cuz


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