I really am on the downward slope to 40! (no offense to those of you already there...I'm just dreading it in my current sad state).
Every year I picture myself in a different place; exercising regularly, eating right, my life in order, things running like a well oiled machine. But every year, I fall short.
What keeps me from making a real change?
I've lied to myself about the change I'm going to make for myself so many times, I just don't believe myself anymore.
Well, this year, life has thrown me some serious curve balls, not of my doing. My marriage suffered a major blow in April and my husband lost his job 2 weeks ago. Both have rocked my world. I've had to really hold it together around here and frankly, I'm just tired. For instance, right now, my brain is racked with questions.
We're not sure if we stay, go, sell our house, keep our house, look for work elsewhere or stay put. Maybe we should make an entirely new career change. Who knows? We are in a sort of limbo, not sure what's next...afraid to take a step, and yet, afraid not to. But at the same time, it feels so liberating! The world seems full of possibility as we rely on the Lord to write each new page of our story.
Which brings me back to me (ha!).
During these seriously tough times, I've been strong, I've been gracious, I've been gentle at times and tough at times, but always with the best in mind. I've been forgiving, steadfast, reliable and understanding.
TO EVERYONE ELSE.
Treating the people in your life with respect and care is a good thing, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have it any other way.
But when you can't treat yourself with the same respect and care? Something is VERY wrong. And I do not treat myself, well, any way really. I feel like I just sort of exist...just letting life happen to me, instead of me impacting this life!
I REFUSE to turn 37 years old in 99 days not having made an impact for the better
Which brings me to underwear. Matching underwear.
You know, I can't remember the last time I bought myself new undergarments. It may sound weird, but I know I'm not the only one. Can you remember the last time you went underwear shopping for yourself? When was the last time you bought underwear that wasn't white, and in a plastic package of 6? I want some matching underwear...the kind sold on hangars.
Today, I told my husband that as soon as we get back on our feet, the first thing I'm doing is replacing my tattered, old, cotton skivvies and buying some pretty, silky, matching undergarments...he did not protest. :)
And that's JUST the beginning!
So, new underwear (as soon as there's a budget), CHECK!
And the one thing that's energizing me right now that's giving me hope and a feeling of accomplishment is finishing my book! I can't wait to get that out and see it work in other women's lives as they discover the promises of God for themselves! Now that get's me going!
New book release (in just a few short weeks), CHECK!
No more excuses! I'm going to PROVE that you can eat clean and healthy and get fit on a budget. Heck...we don't even have a budget. Our income at the moment is ZERO!!! But I'm not going to let lack of income be a reason for me to NOT take on this challenge.
Healthy grocery shopping on a nonexistent budget....er...I will let you know how that goes tomorrow after I have completed my food shopping. My one big rule? Only buy healthy food for not only us, but for our daughter. If it's not in the house, you're more likely to stay away from it. Everyone says buying healthy is more expensive, but I promise, I'm going to get it done, and we are going to eat FANTASTICALLY!
I think these shopping lists from Clean Eating Magazine will be helpful. I also love this blog, called, The Gracious Pantry. Lots of clean, healthy living ideas (even for beginners) there!
Healthy eating (if it ain't around, you ain't gonna eat it), CHECK!
No matter what, I'm committing to exercising 5 days a week. Exercise is FREE. Walking, yard work, even vigorous housework is good for you and burns calories. So, I'm committing to lacing up my sneakers and getting out there and getting moving!
Exercising for FREE (stepping out your front door and walking doesn't cost a dime!), CHECK!
And last but not least (although, my least favorite), cleaning, keeping up with the laundry and organizing. I really have nothing to say about this. I just need to do it...period.
Getting my house in order (gonna shut up and just do it...), CHECK!
I'm impacting my life for a change.
I deserve it.
p.s. As I read through this, I noticed that it seemed a little bit like I sort of "glossed over" the fact that we are unemployed with some serious financial challenges right now. But let me assure you, that is not the case. I take our situation VERY seriously and am working with my husband to make right decisions for our family (and fast). I am praying and trying not to worry. The Bible tells me not to worry. I can't explain how this is part of God's plan, but I know it is. And while I don't understand it, I trust it. It's our job to obey, trust and be faithful, it's His job to work out the details.
The truth is, I can sit around for the next 99 days, still fat, tired and unhappy whether my husband is working or not. But I choose to make good changes and enact order for myself despite the chaos around me.