I've realized, after a pretty crappy week, that I don't have any FUN in my life...the things that I like to do, that brings me pleasure, excitement, joy, make me smile, or gives me something to look forward to. Sure there are things that I REALLY enjoy doing and look forward to, like services at my church Quest and I have a great time with the girls from my Life Group (my church's name for small groups), or singing with my group, Crossfire. But what do I do for fun? Just for me? And sadly, the answer is, I'm not even sure what fun is?
I've heard evangelist, Joyce Meyer talk about balance a lot in her teachings (I love, love, love her!), and that fun and enjoyment should really be a part of your Christian walk. And if you're not having some fun, in a balanced way, that you need to start! So I got to thinking, "What do I do for fun? What is fun exactly?" I haven't had it in so long, that I don't even know what I enjoy anymore. So sad, huh? One problem is that over the years, I've just become kind of a stick in the mud. I don't even want to participate in things that other people find "fun." Is it because I'm a fuddy duddy or because I just don't find amusement in some of the things other people do? Or maybe it's that I don't have the energy to put on a fake smile and pretend like I'm having fun. I REALLY hate that. I'd rather be the stick in the mud than be fake and pretend like I'm enjoying myself. It's not good to lie. And not wanting to participate isn't a negative thing, although it can seem to be. It's just that one would like to be alone sometimes rather than pretend to be amused even when the crowd insists they, "Join in the fun!" I respect a person more for just being who they are, even if they're "no fun." Don't you?
So, in going back to the question, "What is fun?" I thought I would list some things that I enjoy. I'm not sure I'd categorize them as WHOOHOO! fun, but I do enjoy doing these things, as odd as they may be.
#1. Spending alone time with my hubby, on dates or otherwise (wink). He is by far my favorite person and my bestest friend. He makes me laugh and I can talk about things with him that I can't talk to anyone else about. He likes me for me and I can be "fun" or a "fuddy duddy" and he loves me anyway. We have a LOT of FUN! And we DO NOT have enough alone time together. So that one could be ramped up a bit for sure!
#2. Taking a nice drive while listening to music. Gas prices prohibit much of this anymore. And NONE since my car has been on the skids. I have 4 bad tires, a dead battery and expired tags. Can't do much driving which is sad, because it's the one thing I REALLY enjoy doing.
#3. Traveling. I love seeing new places and just being on the road. Haven't done much of that in years!We soooo need a vacation!
#4. Eating GOOD food at GOOD restaurants. And Golden Corral and Chili's does not qualify as good in my book. There's nothing like a really good steak or an amazing pasta dish or scrumptious seafood or salad. We ate at Chili's last night and I couldn't even finish my dinner, it was so gross. I was just sad, longing for really good, good quality food. Sigh.
#5. Visiting friends. I love just on a whim, having a friend on my mind and then popping in to see them or visit with them over coffee. I don't have very many friends, but the ones I do care about, I love to spend time with. There are many friends that I left behind when we moved from Knoxville, Tennessee and I miss them terribly sometimes.
#6. Giving. When you know someone really wants or needs something and you know that you can provide that for them or give it to them as a gift (especially without them knowing), that is FUN! But with our budget so strapped, I can't find a lot left over to be able to give the way I'd like, which makes me sad.
#7. Sparring and joking with like-minded people! I am a kidder! I love to joke, kid and spar with others who also like to do the same. Now, some people are just mean in their sarcasm, but I am light-hearted and just like to be around others who also have dry, light-hearted, sarcastic personalities like I do. People who get me and my sense of humor and appreciate it. I need more of those people in my life. :)
#8. Seeing a really funny movie...I love to laugh!
#9. And nothing is more fun to me than performing/singing. Nothing brings me greater joy or greater fulfillment than singing...especially for other people. I'm doing this more in my life, which makes me glad, but if I could do it every day, I'd be one happy girl!
So, as I read over this list, I see a lot of things that I enjoy that I'm not doing. And I also see a lot of excuses. But there are real, tangible reasons why I can't do the things I like to do. Unfortunately fun, a lot of times, costs money and that's something we just don't have a lot of right now. But while I'm not necessarily the "funnest" person, I am incredibly optimistic! I know it won't be this way forever! And in prayer, my circumstances will change...I just know it! I will just pray that God helps me be balanced and shows me ways to bring more fun into my life, because right now, I'm not having enough and it's getting depressing.
But hey, sex with my hubby is still free, right? And that's really fun...I just need to do more of that!!! :)